“Have you and your spouse been so angry at each other that you’ve gone your separate ways and stopped interacting with each other? Have you convinced yourself that, until she or he initiates making up, there will be no peace in your house? “If so, I have few things I want to tell you. You’re wasting precious energy holding on to your anger. It’s exhausting to feel resentment day in and day out. It’s bad for your health and hard on your spirit. And it’s awful for your relationship. “Anger imprisons you. It casts a gray cloud over your days. It prevents you from feeling real joy in any part of your life. Each day you drown yourself in resentment is another day lost out of your life. What a waste! “I’ve worked with so many people who live in quiet desperation because they’re utterly convinced that their way of seeing things is right and their partner’s wrong. They spend a lifetime trying to get their partners to share their views. I hear, ‘I’ll change if she or he changes. This philosophy ultimately leads to a stalemate. “I’ve been working with couples for years and I’ve learned a lot about how change occurs in relationships. It’s like a chain reaction. If one person changes, the other one does too. It’s simply a matter of tipping over the first domino. Change is reciprocal. If you aren’t getting what you need from your loved one, instead of trying to convince him or her to change, why not change your approach to the situation? If what you’re doing (talking to your partner about the error of his/her ways) hasn’t been working, no matter how sterling your logic, you’re not going to get very far. Be more flexible and creative. Spend more time trying to figure out what might work as opposed to being bent on driving your point home. You might be pleasantly surprised. “Remember, insanity has been defined as doing the same old thing over and over again, expecting different results.” Too often we try our method of communicating; but we eventually give up thinking it’s hopeless. However, with God, nothing is hopeless… nothing is impossible. (See: Luke 1:37 and Luke 18:27.) As someone once said: “God is able to create and re-create —and when we think everything is dead —that’s when He can do something exciting!” We’re told in the Bible: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.“ (Galatians 6:9) I pray you will not “become weary in doing good.”