Very few people who marry think infidelity will ever enter their marriage. They can’t even fathom that it could happen because they’re so in love at the moment. That is why they fail in protecting marriage —particularly, protecting their marriage from infidelity. But tragically, that’s what happens in more marriages than even the experts can count. And sadly, it’s apparent that Christians are just as susceptible to infidelity as non-believers. We need to protect our marriages and help others protect theirs from this heartbreaking situation. We must change our mindset into being pro-active in protecting marriage against adultery rather than just reactive. Too many spouses fall into this naive lifestyle pattern. First off, please don’t think it could never happen in your marriage. It’s better to be cautious and put protective barriers up ahead of time. It doesn’t matter how safe you feel right now. It’s better to be safe, than to be tragically sorry later. Steps to Protecting Marriage To protect our marriages, we need to make a daily decision to have an affair-proof relationship. Security from marital fidelity is built when we do four important things: Make a Commitment Towards Growth First, it’s extremely important to make a commitment to keep growing in your relationship with your mate. The lower the relational happiness, there’s greater the temptation to medicate through some kind of addictive behaviour (e.g., sex, alcohol, work, etc.). In order to find out what your relationship needs, ask your mate “What is something that I could do that would cause our relationship to grow?” I encourage you to begin making a list of the specific things. And then pick one of them to do on a weekly basis. Again, pursue growth both individually and as a couple. Help each other live up to your fullest potential personally and in your marriage. Keep in mind that whenever God truly calls one of you to do something, His call includes your spouse and involves the two of you working together. Never try to move forward independently, excluding your spouse from your plans. Instead, figure out how best you can work together on them.” Become Aware of Your Choices A damaging force working against marital fidelity is rationalization. Today’s test for honesty seems to be, “It’s okay as long as you don’t get caught.” Or it’s stated, “It’s not that bad; everyone’s doing it.” A major battle is won when we stop asking what’s wrong with certain choices. Instead, we should ask what’s right with them. We must remember that the choices we make every day, dictate the life we lead. Becoming aware of our choices, leads us right into the third way to affair-proof our marriages. Draw a Line and Then Stay a Safe Distance behind It If you want to affair-proof your marriage, it’s important to draw a line. And then stay a safe distance behind it. For each person the safety line will be different. Some people will not be able to take business trips or work late with a co-worker of the opposite sex. Others may not be able to meet a certain person for lunch or to work-out at the gym. Whatever the situation, determine where you need to draw the line. Since everyone makes mistakes, having room before you fall over the edge can be the difference between a compromising situation and losing your marriage. Become Accountable to Someone The final piece for maintaining marital fidelity is through accountability. Accountability is simply being responsible to another person or persons for the commitments you’ve made. If you desire to affair-proof your marriage, I encourage you to ask a good friend, pastor, Bible study group, or co-worker for accountability. The important ingredient is having someone to ask the difficult questions. Ask, for example, “Did you compromise your standards last week?” Or ask, “Have you been getting your emotional needs met from someone other than your mate?” Ideally, these questions force us to carefully and prayerfully consider our choices. That is because we know that someone will be checking. In addition: Effective Communication: Keep the lines of communication open. Discuss your feelings, needs, and concerns openly and honestly. Create an environment where both partners feel comfortable discussing any issues that may arise. Set Boundaries: Define and agree upon boundaries that both partners are comfortable with. This can include guidelines for interacting with members of the opposite sex, social media usage, and other potential triggers for jealousy or insecurity. Quality Time Together: Spend quality time together to nurture your emotional connection. Engage in activities you both enjoy and make an effort to strengthen your bond. Express Appreciation and Affection: Regularly express appreciation, affection, and love for each other. Small gestures, kind words, and physical touch can go a long way in maintaining emotional intimacy. Prioritize Intimacy: Physical intimacy is an essential part of a healthy marriage. Keep the spark alive by exploring each other's desires and maintaining a satisfying sexual connection. Trust-Building: Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Be reliable, honest, and consistent in your actions. If trust has been damaged in the past, work together to rebuild it through transparency and accountability. Emotional Support: Be each other's confidants. Share your worries, joys, and challenges with each other. Knowing that you have a partner who truly understands and supports you can reduce the likelihood of seeking emotional connection elsewhere. Address Issues Promptly: Don't let conflicts fester. Address issues as they arise rather than letting them escalate. Seeking professional help from a therapist can be beneficial if you find yourselves struggling to resolve certain problems.