In the 1960s, developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind described three distinct types—authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive—based on parental demands and responsiveness to children. A fourth style, neglectful, was added later based on work by other researchers. Authoritarian The authoritarian style of parenting focuses on strict rules, obedience, and discipline. These parents have high expectations, and they don't hesitate to punish when children don't follow their guidelines. Authoritarian parents also take over the decision-making power, rarely giving children any input in the matter. Similar to an army drill sergeant, these types of parents are not nurturing, lenient, or communicable. The effect on children: When raised by an authoritarian parent, children are often well-behaved at home, but they may rebel when with classmates or friends. According to Michigan State University, kids may also struggle with the following: Social skills Indecisiveness and trouble thinking on their own Low self-esteem Poor judge of character Anger management and resentfulness Some research also indicates that children whose parents were authoritarian reported more substance use. Permissive Oftentimes permissive parents act more like friends than authoritative figures. They cater to their children's needs without giving out much discipline. For example, they might let (and even encourage) their child to drink soda at every meal if that's what the child wants. Permissive parents are relaxed and lenient, and household rules are very minimal. These parents are the total opposite of strict. The effect on children: Since they have a high standing in the household, children of permissive parents are accustomed to getting whatever they want. In addition, according to Michigan State University, the downsides to this parenting style can include: Lack of responsibility Lack of support with decision-making Impulsiveness and aggressiveness Lack of independence and personal responsibility Anxiety and depression Kids who are parented permissively often have high self-esteem, but they can also act entitled, egocentric, and selfish. These children might also fail to put effort into school, work, or social endeavors since they don't have to put in an effort at home. Authoritative Baumrind considers authoritative parenting to be the "gold standard" parenting style. Authoritative parents provide their children with boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make decisions. They view mistakes as a learning experience, and they have clear expectations for their children. Authoritative parents are nurturing and warm, yet they instill the importance of responsibility and discipline. The effect on children: Usually children of authoritative parents are confident, happy, and successful. According to Michigan State University, kids parented in this manner tend to have the following positive outcomes: Close, nurturing relationships with parents Kids tend to be responsible High self-esteem and self-confidence Able to manage their aggression Kids are assertive, self-regulated, and responsible Kids are likely to be happy and successful Kids who are parented authoritatively can be trusted to make the right decision on their own, and they often set high expectations for themselves. These children may also perform well academically and socially, and they're less likely to misuse drugs or alcohol. Neglectful or uninvolved This parenting style wasn't initially defined by Diana Baumrind, but it was added to her list later by researchers Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin. Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who must raise themselves. They don't set rules or expectations, but they also don't provide guidance when needed. In extreme cases, a child's welfare can suffer from this parental neglect. The effect on children: Without any guidance, structure, or parental involvement, children of neglectful parents often act out. Research has found that kids with uninvolved parents have the worst outcomes such as substance use, rebelliousness, delinquency, and Lower cognitive and emotional empathy They might, for example, get in trouble at school or with the law. In addition, they might also hesitate to form bonds with other people and exhibit depression. Conclusion No single parenting style is necessarily the best for a family and a combination of the four styles, borrowing the positive aspects from each may be the best option for our families. Combining the four parenting styles - authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful – however, requires careful consideration and a balanced approach. While each parent might naturally lean towards one style, finding a middle ground that incorporates positive aspects from each can be beneficial for the overall well-being of the child. We recommend that you start with an authoritative foundation where you set clear expectations and rules but also provide warmth, support, and open communication. Emphasize clear and open communication within the family and encourage children to express their thoughts and feelings, and listen actively to what they have to say. Draw from both authoritative and authoritarian styles to set boundaries and rules while still allowing for flexibility and understanding. Incorporate elements of permissive parenting by encouraging independence and decision-making within certain boundaries and allow children to have a say in age-appropriate choices and responsibilities. Utilize both authoritative and authoritarian elements to maintain consistent discipline and ensure that rules are consistently enforced, but also explain the reasoning behind them. Combine elements from authoritative and permissive styles to provide warmth and emotional support and create an environment where children feel loved, valued, and supported. Incorporate permissive elements to be flexible when appropriate by recognizing situations where flexibility and understanding can contribute to a positive and nurturing environment. Actively participate in your child's life, taking an interest in their activities, and engage in both authoritative discussions about goals and expectations, as well as permissive moments of shared interests. However, avoid neglectful tendencies by paying attention to your child's needs, emotional cues, and overall well-being and be present and involved in their lives to prevent feelings of neglect. Regularly reflect on your parenting approach and make adjustments as needed as parenting is an ongoing process, and being willing to adapt to your child's changing needs is crucial. Remember, the goal is to create a balanced and supportive environment that meets the individual needs of your child. It may require ongoing communication and collaboration with your co-parent to ensure consistency and harmony in your parenting styles.