Is there some habit your spouse does (one of many imperfections) that really irritates you? And then to make matters worse when you tell them how much it bothers you, do they still continue to do it? This can be things like leaving dirty clothes on the floor, talking to you when you’re listening/watching something you think is important, or not picking up after themselves—and the list goes on and on. There’s no doubt that this can be frustrating! It’s those little things—those irritating imperfections, that add up that can really get to us! Even so, within marriage, love accepts many imperfections. It has to—we have to! If we don’t, all of our marriages will most certainly fail! ‘Love accepts many imperfections.’ Love does not demand perfection from one’s mate. There are some things that your mate either cannot or will not change. These I am calling imperfections. They may not be moral in nature but are simply things that you do not like. In marriage, you will discover things that you do not like about your mate. It may be the way he hangs towels, squeezes toothpaste, or installs the toilet paper. “The first course of action is to request change. (If you can change, why not do so? It’s a small matter to make your partner happy.) However, I can assure you that there are some things that your mate either cannot or will not change. This is the point at which ‘love accepts many imperfections.’ You decide where the point of acceptance will come. “Some of you have had running battles for 20 years over things as simple as open drawers, high tone of voice, etc. Could this be the time to call a cease-fire and make a list of things that you will accept as imperfections? I don’t want to discourage you, but your mate will never be perfect. He or she will never do everything that you desire. Your best alternative is the acceptance of love!” Now, please know that we’re not talking about abusive or adulterous behavior here; we’re talking about “normal” irritations. And we’re not talking about enabling bad behavior. Sometimes it’s important to confront certain behaviors and speak the truth “in love” to stop them from continuing. But there are other times when we have to find compromises so we can better live with our spouse’s non-abusive “imperfections.” It’s all a part of marrying our differences. But like Gary Chapman says, if we don’t work through them to some type of resolution, they will continually go on and on and on and on. And it’s just not worth letting them cause ongoing problems in our relationship and our already complicated life’s together. Bottom line: Make the effort to stop irritating each other the least that it is possible (to the best of your ability). Also, try not to enable selfish behavior. Work it through, to the degree that your spouse will cooperate with you. But also make the effort to release that, which you can’t change. If you don’t it will drive you crazy! And that kind of crazy can only hurt your marriage relationship—not help it in the long run. Whether you find the thought of seeing a therapist daunting or look forward to your first meeting with excitement and intrigue, you should feel proud that you are considering taking steps to improve your life and mental health. It might feel like defeat, but deciding to get help with your mental health issues is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength, resilience, and courage.