Affection is the kind of love that leaves you feeling close, safe and cared for while misguided affection could make a spouse feel the opposite. You feel distant, unsafe, and not cared about. One of those ways is that some spouses devote so much of their time, energy and affection to their children, they don’t leave enough for their spouse. Their marriages become child-centred to such a degree that the marriage suffers a type of starvation for affection. Be careful that you don’t allow that to happen; and if it IS happening, ask God to show you how to change that. Re-align your priorities. That’s because children’s needs can often scream louder than your spouse’s. But it’s not healthy to your marriage relationship to allow everyone else’s needs to usurp your spouses. And the best thing is—your children will benefit all the more if your marriage is healthy. “Keep your eyes on the prize. Your marriage is ‘the prize.’ Don’t let anything (even career or hobbies) take over first place. After the honeymoon, keep doing what you did while courting before you got married. It’s been said, ‘Spoil your spouse…not your children.’ Your children are watching. They’ll love you for it. Leave a legacy. A healthy marriage teaches children important lessons about their own relationships.” Another type of misguided affection is where you care more for the needs and wants of other family members over your spouses needs. Of course, there are exceptions when family member is critically ill or injured. Even so, be careful not to continually neglect your spouse. Always keep in mind that the Bible tells those who marry to “leave” their family of origin to “cleave” to their spouse. They are to form a new family. You are joining forces with a new partner. He/she is now to be your first human priority. It’s not that you abandon your family of origin. But: “When you married, you vowed to depart from your old ways. You didn’t leave your first home in terms of love. But you did leave in terms of authority and priority. The most important human relationship now is the one you have with your husband or wife. More than that, your marriage is a living, breathing institution with a life of its own. To help your spouse to feel “close, safe and cared for” by you make it a point to put your attention and tenderness in the right place. “A marriage will be satisfying in the end only if we have worked along the way at keeping our spouse number one in our affections. Let your spouse never feel or think someone or something else has a higher priority than you in your spouse’s affections. You married to “join together” —not to live separate lives. If your spouse is willing, make it happen. May you diligently guard your heart, so you’re fully devoted to your spouse and may you find ways to show that you take delight in honouring your spouse!