“There is a common worry among engaged couples that romance will fade months and years into their marriage. Pre-married couples don’t want the attraction and anticipation they feel today to fade into complacency and coldness tomorrow. They want to know how to avert this in the years to come” (Jim Mueller). But how do we stop the “fading” from happening in our marriages? Well, it certainly isn’t by letting romance take its own course after we say, “I do” in the marriage ceremony. Life has a way of separating us from each other. This happens even if we never thought it could happen to us. We can have the most romantic beginning to our lives together that anyone could ever imagine. But unless we put intentionality into making sure the romance doesn’t “fade” or crash, the downhill slide of becoming emotionally apart from each other is inevitable. It’s just the natural course of life. Marriage doesn’t make you happy—you make your marriage happy. As the saying goes, you bring your own weather to the picnic. A happy marriage does not depend on the right circumstances or the perfect person. A happy marriage is the result of two people committed to making a happy life of love together. To bring back the fading romance you need to: Bring Back Date Night Making time for one another is going to be instrumental in your journey to fight how love fades in a relationship. Date night is a great opportunity to tune into one another and tune out from the rest of the world. You are setting aside time to spend solely with your partner who you love. This shows them that you are serious about keeping the love in your relationship on the right track. It also does wonders to prove your dedication and loyalty in the relationship. Another benefit to date night is making new, positive memories with the person you love. If harsh words or disagreements have damaged your relationship, this is a good place to start. You can rewrite your future as long as you are willing to put some effort into the present. Once you are reminded of your feelings during love at first sight or why you love each other first, it will be much easier to bridge the gap of your romantic relationship. Start a Hobby Together Hobbies are a great way to do something constructive while working on your relationship. If you choose the right thing, it can also foster working together as a common goal. The type of activity you choose doesn’t make much of a difference. The only thing you need to worry about is that each of you will enjoy what you are doing. When you are choosing an activity to begin, consider teamwork. You might choose a puzzle with one thousand pieces or take a cooking class that emphasizes having a sous chef. Anything you can do to foster completing tasks together will work. Kiss More Often Kissing more often can lead to a happier and more romantic relationship. This happens for several reasons. When you kiss someone you love, it triggers the dopamine receptors in your brain. Dopamine is responsible for controlling the happy emotions we feel. When you take the time to focus on the little things, like kissing someone you love, you open up the possibility to feel better inside and out. This could be the difference between a boring relationship and an exciting ride in love. Don’t be afraid to be Naughty. When love fades away, it probably hits the hardest in the bedroom. What to do when the love is gone and intimacy issues start to arise? Spicing up our sex lives isn’t something that many people are comfortable talking about, but it is a good solution to your problem. Learn how to spice up the bedroom and how to seduce someone again, which is your partner spouse. Let’s face it: having the same sex over and over can be boring. After months or years of enduring the same routine in the bedroom, your sexual love fades. If this is the case, it is time to kick things up a notch in the bedroom. This doesn’t mean you have to go doing extreme things you are not comfortable with, but you can implement minor changes to make things more exciting and sexier. This could be as simple as buying a new lingerie set and surprising your husband with it. You could also go to an adult store and buy a naughty game to play in the bedroom. No matter what you choose, the changes you make in the bedroom are likely to have a ripple effect throughout your entire relationship and reaffirm your love for each other. Renew Your Vows Renewing your vows can give you the spark that you need to reignite your fading love. This is a celebration of the longevity of your relationship and a way that you can rededicate yourselves to one another, even after the initial attraction fades. If you choose to have a ceremony, it doesn’t have to be big or fancy. The most important thing is that you are choosing to love each other once again. You can be sure that your spouse is on the same page as you are and move forward to a happier future in love. Consult a Professional Even with our best efforts, some relationship problems are too big to handle on our own. If you're experiencing a lack of affection and intimacy in a relationship and you struggle to get that romantic attraction and love back, a professional can help. A licensed couple’s counselor or therapist could be the difference between your relationship now and a renewed affection for one another. A professional can help you identify the problems in your relationship, and they can help you form a plan to solve them. If your partner abuses you in any way and you are wondering when should you leave a relationship, a professional therapist can also guide you. Although it is commonly characterized as something only weak couples do, this couldn’t be more untrue. Taking the necessary steps to ensure you are doing everything you can to save your relationship and reignite your love is a mark of strength. We all need help, especially with love, at one time or another. Romantic attraction and love fades, rekindle it today – reach out now!